JuJuBee

Outed.

Well, thanks to some people posting sweet entries about their daughter turning some significant Milestone Birthday, I guess I need to come clean.

Hi. My name is JuJuBee, and I am now thirty years old.

Phew.

Thirty. Yep. I really thought that it wouldn't phase me to turn this age, but it really comes with a lot of introspection. It's odd to not be in my 20's anymore. I know that most of my friends around the same age are nowhere (that's one word, sweetheart) near where I am in my 30th year, meaning married with three kids. I've always felt older than everyone else either because I was a VERY young mom or because I just quite literally FELT older...due to lack of sleeping for 2+ years (which is also why I looked so old and haggard and puffy eyed if you were to click on that link above.)

So, while I am over here getting over myself already, GAWD! Let me also tell you that my little Middle Child who suffers miserably from Middle Child Syndrome turned three on Saturday. THREE. Do you know what that means? It means that we are one year closer to having all three children be able to cut their own food and wipe their own asses!! Well, ideally that is what that means. Debatable though. Especially when the queen refuses to even think about the potty (after she had been almost perfectly potty trained for a full day last month.) She won't go to college in diapers. I know it, she won't. Really.

I had a great birthday. The mister woke me up with a cup of coffee that he made with my brand new Senseo. Actually, he replaced my old Senseo because he sort of broke the other one...ahem. Then I spent the day playing with the kiddos, my mother in law showed up just in time for Mr. JuJu and I to head out for a dinner and drinks and then a little shopping spree at the mall that included a stop at  heaven  Sephora and a little present for the whole family.

Thanks to those of you who sent me a birthday email. Maybe if I find time today, I'll get some of Madeline's birthday pics up on my Flickr. Have a wonderful first day of May! Where the hell did April go?

Smile Inducers

I thought that this post, by Mighty Girl, was pretty inspiring. It's so often that we think of the things that we would like to do and accomplish before our time on this planet has come to an end, but what about all of those times that we've already been through? All of those memories bring a smile to your face and make you who you are. I'm going to try to remember 100 of them. It might be nice to have a list somewhere that you can revisit when you are having a really tough day...

Moments Worthy of A Flash Before I Die 1-25:

25. Floating down Lazy River on an inner tube with my husband.

24. Driving in Oahu at night, noticing something sparkle to my right, realizing it was the Pacific Ocean.

23. Making a playhouse out of the box that held our new dining room table.

22. Feeling like a princess as I walked down the aisle, position of flower girl, in my Aunt Rosemary's wedding.

21. Seeing my daughter pretend to read to my son.

20. Smoking cigars on a warm summer night with my husband on the porch.

19. Fishing with my Grandfather, just us.

18. Sneaking up to my Grandma's bedroom with my cousin Sarah, to play with her make-up and pretend to be all grown up.

17. Watching Julian in his first preschool Christmas play.

16. Laying on a car roof at midnight in Prescott, Arizona to watch shooting stars.

15. 2 a.m. laughing hysterically at her rendition of Ring of Fire, by Johnny Cash while sitting around the campfire at our family reunion.

14. Wine Night

13. Serving breakfast at a DC homeless shelter.

12. Hitting that "Runner's High".

11. Seeing Julian for the first time.

10. Seeing him walk toward me with that smile, listening to Van Morrison, about to be engaged.

9. Taking my father for a haircut.

8. Ice Cream cones and pretzel rods from the Warren Deli.

7. Riding my bike for the first time, purple banana seat with basket and streamers.

6. Bunnies at church on Easter Sunday, wearing my easter dress and hat.

5. Taking change to Ben Franklin's to pick out penny candy.

4. Slow dancing with our banister at the bottom of the stairs.

3. Out with the girls for my first legal shot in a bar.

2. Listening to my mom read us a story while my brother and I take a bath.

1. Jumping from the train bridge into the river.

List some of your own in the comments.

Sign that Your Child May Need to have Some Things Cleared Up

me: So, what teams do your friends follow?
him: Anthony likes Cincinnati but most of them like the Bills.
me: Hmn. Wonder if he was born in Ohio, or maybe his parents are from there?
him: Mom. HE'S BLACK.
me: ...And? What does that have anything to do with Cincinnati?
him: Well, his parents are probably from Africa.

(to DT ~ I received your email and promptly lost or deleted it, could you please resend or let me know your email address again?)

Taking a Breather

Life has been hectic lately. Nothing new, but you know, hectic as in, "Doing Something Everyday Single Day of the Week and Having to Bundle Kids Into Coats and Hats and Mittens" hectic. Thinking back not too far, Friday was babysitting for friends and going to work, Saturday was work (LONG day) followed by a big girl's night out with Madeline to Elmo Saves Music at Sheas where we had front row seats (which meant that she couldn't see and stood on my lap bladder throughout the entire performance) but all in all a fun day. Pictures on Flickr. Sunday was lots of cleaning and then dinner at Mr. JuJu's parent's house. Monday was spent at the Buffalo Marriott Niagara in a meeting for work. Tuesday was groceries and haircuts for the kids and today is: NOTHING. Ahhhhh.

Except later when we need to take Julian out for new shoes since he ruined his jumping in mud puddles, which he KNEW BETTER THAN TO DO. But it's a trip to Target, so no big problem.

I have a week long paid vacation coming up (WOO!) on March 16th which I am trying to fill with doctor appointments, home organizing and a trip to visit my family for Easter. The last trip left me feeling like I never want to travel with these kids again. They were sick, crabby, didn't sleep and cried quite a bit in the car. Mostly the baby...but enough for my nerves to retaliate against me and make me miserable. I also got a kidney stone in the car on the way there, which didn't exactly help matters.

So anyway, any tips for traveling happy with the under 3 set? Julian does great aside from the occasional "are we there yet?" bullshit. He can watch DVDs and play Gameboy and be fine. Madeline does pretty well as long as she has copious amounts of food and drink, so mainly it is Andrew who cannot understand why he needs to be strapped down for close to 4 hours without being able to move.  Discuss.

Off to mop the floor. Some breather that was.

23 Backwards

So, I know your birthday was yesterday, and I know that I am a total jerkass for not acknowledging it here, but come on, really...did you expect me to? Ok then. With that said, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY LOVE!

I know you don't expect too many people to remember, or to send cards, or to call, but the truth is that you are important to so many people. If I remembered to send a card to everyone that I cared about on their birthday? Good god, we'd be knee deep in postal debt. You make the world a better place by being alive, as cliche as it sounds, and I don't know what we'd do without you. I DO know that I'd get those fluorescent bulbs out of our lamps faster than a jackrabbit on a date...and maybe the ice cube trays would always be filled...and we'd have 97% less shoes in the house, but really...we'd never manage alone. Who would make silly songs about our Big Fella, and who would blow our driveway? Who would kill the spiders and who would buy all of the books that I steal and read?

You are an awesome daddy, who gets the kids fed and cleaned up and put to bed way more often than I do, you've stepped up so I can get out and go to my new job, and you don't complain when I spend a third of my paycheck on trips to Tim Hortons on the way there. You miss happy hours with co-workers and countless free tickets to games so that I can feel like I am helping our family. You fill the gas tanks and the wiper fluid so I don't have to stand in the cold.

Ok, enough sappy crap. Happy Birthday. Maybe we'll get to that birthday wish one of these days :)

ok...the naked Ron Jeremy picture was scaring you away, I apologize. It's gonzo.

I'm Still JuJu McLuckyPants

I'm sitting here, alone, in my quiet (wow, it's quiet) house, listening to the siding pop and the wood creak and the windows rattle from the wind storm happening outside. The kiddos and the husband are off having a nice dinner with grandma and grandpa. I didn't go, because I once again am suffering from a kidney stone.

I can't even express how frustrated I am today. I'm not asking for advice, or sympathy. I'm not looking for a pity party, I'm past all of that. Today I am just mad. I want to know why this is happening to me, what I did to deserve it, how I can fix it, how I can move on with my life without wondering when the next one will hit. It's embarrassing to hear my husband on the phone, "Yeah...she's not feeling well. Kidney stone related I guess, or something, who knows."  I can tell that he is as sick of explaining it to others as I am sick of getting them.

It's my Sunday off. My counter has three consultants, so we rotate our Sundays. I treasure my Sundays off. I look forward to a whole day of relaxing and snuggling up with my family. Kidney stones tend to put a damper on the day, you know? I want my urologist to take me more seriously, call me with the results of my urine tests, tell me what to avoid. I want him to fix me. I want to be me again. I'm tired of being sick, tired of being angry all of the time, tired of being quick to lose my temper, tired of making sure I have my pills before I leave the house just in case, tired of being tired.

Most of all, I am sick of being felt sorry for. There are times when I get one, and don't even tell anyone so I can avoid the whole conversation. Every time I have had an ultrasound, CT or whatever, there has been a stone present, As far as I know mine range from 1mm to 5mm. A 5 is on the large side, and when I had a 5, they told me I could stay or go home and pass it, if it were bigger they'd have made me stay. I don't go back to the ER anymore because all they do (besides making you wait for 6 hours) is put you on a drip to hydrate you, give you some pain meds, and send you home. I can get the same treatment at home, minus the needle, and enjoy my own bed. The urologist basically made me feel like I was wasting his time. He said that I don't get the stones in clusters, and kind of made me feel like an asshole for complaining about a stone here and there while he was spending his day treating uterine cancer and prostate problems. I get about a stone a month. Sometimes more. They might be different stones, they might be the same stone moving around. I've never actually caught one to be sure they'd passed.

Ok, I'm even sick of writing about it now. I'd really like to get back to this site. I miss writing and interacting with you all on a regular basis. I just don't want to be here spewing all of this negativity, so maybe I'll start back out with some cute kid stories. The kids are great. Even though their mommy is dodging stone bullets left and right, they are doing so good...much of that has to do with Mr. JuJu stepping up and taking over when I just can't. He's my rock.

Maybe some happy thoughts soon, or at least some cute pictures:

A Typical Workday...

...OR...Where the Hell I've Been.

5:30-6:30 am: Andrew wakes up. Bring him into our room before he wakes his sister. Change his diaper and put him into the Pack-n-Play. Pray he'll go back to sleep for a few minutes. Usually he doesn't so we turn on Sprout and he watches cartoons for a bit.

7:00 am: Mr. JuJu is usually up and in the shower, Julian climbs into our bed.

7:15 am: Have had enough of Drew's whining and Julian's kicking. Get out of bed.

7:20 am: Madeline is up. Change her diaper.

7:30 am: Making breakfast, washing dishes, laying out clothes for Julian, finding backpack and shoes.

7:35 am: Showing Julian how to hang up his bath towel for the 13,713th time.

7:45 am: Change Andrew's poopy diaper.

7:55 am: Kiss goodbye for Mr. JuJu.

8:00 am: Getting all kids to the table for  breakfast.

8:10 am: Making Julian's lunch for school, helping him with his spelling homework.

8:15 am: Putting more waffles in the toaster for baby with bottomless pit of a stomach.

8:30 am: Get everyone down from table, gather dishes and wipe off table.

8:35 am: Help Julian get coat, gloves, boots, hat and backpack on.

8:40 am: Pull baby out of my room where he is calling someone from our bedside phone.

8:45 am: Kiss Julian good bye, stand at front window with the little ones and wave goodbye to the bus.

8:50 am: Put Calliou on for kids while I do the morning dishes and clean up the kitchen.

9:00 am: Make beds, gather laundry and put clothes in the washer.

9:20 am: Make coffee and put an english muffin in the toaster.

9:30 am: Break up a fight and finally SIT DOWN to have my breakfast and check email.

9:31 am: Someone poops, stop eating to change diaper. Wash hands.

9:35 am: Sit back down to cold coffee and food.

9:36 am: Reheat coffee.

9:37 am: Answer pleas and begging for "MORE WATER PLEEEAAASSEEEE, MOMMMMMYYYYY."

9:40 am: Finish breakfast and cup of coffee.

9:45 am: Transfer clothes from washer to dryer.

10:00 am: Time out for cuddling with my babies.

10:30 am: Answer pleas and begging for "NEED SNACKS PLEEEAAAASSSEEE, MOMMMMYYYY!"

10:40 am: Fold dry laundry, put another load into washer. Feed cat.

10:50 am: Make some calls for {insert any sorts of appointment making you like, but stick to the non-fun spa-type appointments like pediatrician check-ups and urology}.

11:00 am: Pull out some clean clothes and towels.

11:15 am: Bathtime for the kids.

11:45 am: Make lunch.

12:00 pm: Eat lunch...might even be lucky enough to sit and eat too!

12:30 pm: Baby gets a bottle and down for a nap.

12:40 pm: Madeline goes down for a nap.

12:45 pm: Clean up lunch dishes and kitchen.

1:00 pm: Back downstairs to do laundry.

1:20 pm: Sit down to read some blogs, IM with husband, have a snack and some more coffee.

1:30 pm: Think about posting something to my blog, realize noone wants to hear what I do all day.

1:45 pm: More laundry.

2:00 pm: Shower before the kids wake up if I am lucky.

2:30 pm: Get ready for work.

3:00 pm: Kids are up. Change diapers.

3:15 pm: Snacks.

3:30 pm: Julian comes home. We talk about his day, look at school papers, play with the kids and turn on some cartoons.

4:00 pm: Stare at pantry, stare into fridge. Decide on dinner....either start it or call for pizza.

4:15 pm: Get some more snuggles in before I have to leave.

4:30 pm: Fight with flat iron, hate hair.

4:45 pm: Find coat, purse, keys, gloves, scarf.

5:00 pm: Get kids to the table for dinner....if lucky, dinner is on the table when Mr. JuJu walks in the door at...

5:10 pm: Say hello to Mr. JuJu. Say goodbye to Mr.JuJu. Kiss kids and leave for work.

5:40 pm: Arrive at work.

5:45 pm: Work.

6:30 pm: Work

7:30 pm: Work

8:30 pm: Work

9:00 pm: Basically give up on work, have some coffee and bullshit with my co-workers. eat cookies, make fun of customers. Best part of my night.

9:45 pm: Leave work.

10:15 pm: Arrive at grocery store and shop for groceries.

10:40 pm: Come home! Kiss husband. Fall into chair.

11:00 pm: Asleep in chair.